The Onion nails it

Again.  Key quote:

Citing the billions of dollars wasted annually on flavored water and boneless buffalo wings, the number of drunk-driving deaths each year, and the lack of citizen accountability for the rise of Kim Kardashian, government officials registered extremely low opinions of the American people overall.

I'm sorry future Americans!

"The Porn Stashing Agency will store all pornographic materials underneath piles of old camping equipment and put in boxes with the word Canada written on it. That way when future historians find the porn we can just say we were holding on to it for Canada."


Congress Announces Plan To Hide Nation's Porn From Future Generations