Why Obama's Gay Rights Strategy Is The Right One

Check out the video below to see liberals heckle President Obama at a fundraiser for Senator Barbara Boxer (D - California) for his administration's sluggishness on ending the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.



And click the jump below for my ridiculously obscene analogy for why slow and steady progress is the right course of action.  This post beyond the jump is definitely TV-MA.  You have been warned! 



President Obama's gay rights strategy is like experimenting with anal sex with a girl who's really not that interested in having anal sex.

(Just to be clear, for our purposes of this analogy America is the girl and gay marriage and ending "don't ask, don't tell" are the big hard cock of Justice.)

If you try and just do the "oops" slip it in, she'll just say "Ouch!" and "You pervert!"  If you just spring immediate gay marriage on all of America, there will be a stronger backlash against it and your chances of real progress, and of ass shebanging diminish.

All of these small steps that the Obama administration are taking they are the lube.  They are just lubing America up, getting her ready, getting her so ready for it she's begging for it.

And by it, I mean equality. Ow!

The first lubrication of the anus (through lube or through licking - your choice!) was when Obama signed an executive order in June 2009 that workers in the federal government could have their long-term partners on their healthcare plan.  "That doesn't feel so bad", America says, "this could even feel good."

Then, put in part of the pinky - just a knuckle or two just to get her used to the feeling when the administration and the Pentagon agreed to not initiate a DADT hearing unless real evidence of sexual activity was found rather than just hearsay of a soldier who suspected that soldier was gay.

Basically, doing the "Don't Ask" part which hadn't been done in quite some time.  America thinks, "that pinky doesn't hurt so much, I actually kind of like it."

Once you've got part of the pinky in there you might as well put the whole thing up there.  President Obama's most recent executive order to allow gay partners hospital visitation rights and power of attorney should it be designated.

Now, that you've got the whole pinky up there and America's enjoying it you've just got to pick out your small vibrator and you're almost home free! Gay equality is not going to come easy and it's not going to come overnight (puns intended!).

We've got to ease America into it, we know she likes equality and the hard cock of justice deep down. All it takes to dissolve some of that Catholic/Christian shame and fear of sex is a little hard work, a little lube, and a little bit of pinky finger.

She'll thank us later.